Charles F. Williams

Also known to some as Charles Walter Stansby Williams, and, yes, this is an actual quote (minus the screamed conclusion, which was edited out in the final draft):

“The beginning of Christendom is, strictly, at a point out of time. A metaphysical trigonometry finds it among the spiritual Secrets, at the meeting of two Heavenward lines, one drawn from Bethany along the Ascent of Messias, the other from Jerusalem against the Descent of the Paraclete.”

Described by both T.S. Eliot and C.S. Lewis as being monkey-like, and known the world over for his talent with the ladies (and perhaps also Jackie Lewis-- just ask Tolkien-- and this is getting creepy, isn't it?), Charles Williams was a poet, novelist, theologian, editor, and mad man. He was also the only 20th century writer to not use his initials as a pen name. Assumably unmedicated and nigh unintelligible unless you possess complete knowledge of obscure Christian theology and Arthurian legend (and also live inside his head), Williams is also the unknown Third Man of the Tolkien-Lewis-??? triumvirate-- unknown for reasons already alluded to. He appeared to have lived in a fantasy world of his own devising, in which he would often assign names and roles to the people around him, with the expectation that they would adhere to them, rather than be completely weirded out. He is fucking awesome, and I have made it my life's duty to make sure everybody I meet knows this.

Recently, he has been made known to the the fragile, young minds of children everywhere (such as myself) via James A. Owen's "Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica" series (which I also must plug whenever possible), in which he travels through time and space, is a road warrior in an alternate dimension, becomes hero to badgers everywhere, adopts his arch-nemesis--a potted plant, gets an animate map tattooed onto his back, and frequently sets fire to things. It is a true, biographical portrayal. As a result, thousands of the world's youth will inevitably be exposed to his works and thought processes when forced to Google him to figure out who the hell he is, and thus the future is made secure. And, perhaps, completely mad.





Disclaimer: The above "biography" is based solely on things that I vaguely remember having heard and perhaps also just made up and is in no way meant to be taken as true facts. Please do not suffocate me in my sleep, ghost of Florence Williams. (You'll protect me, won't you, ghost of Ros Sereysothea who has manifested from the the previous page?)

On the upside, I did get the color of his suit right (according to Humphrey Carpenter)... by accident... so that's something.

I also have no recollection of where I got that paper texture. If you know, help me out so I don't get shanked.